Happy Mother's Day!

This is a picture of my mother, when she was young.  


I carry it with me as a reminder of who I am and how every moment I can choose to grow and share my light and love or let that light slowly go out--dampened by guilt, anger, disappointment and fear.  


My mother was an amazing woman and teacher--something I didn't really realize until much later, years after she had died.  


She was funny and smart and so pretty.  She was incredibly talented and hard working and did a lot in the community and our family to make it beautiful and better.  


She was also an abusive alcoholic, riddled with regret for a life she had wanted but didn't find.  


I used to think she was horribly mean and weak.  I was angry at her for abandoning us again by dying at such a young age.  But, all of those thoughts and feelings now seem judgmental and small.  


She died at the perfect time for her soul.  Her disease was just one part of her--it did NOT define who she was or how she is remembered.  


When I speak to my children about her, I am candid yet loving.  She was an INCREDIBLE woman who gave much of herself to others.  She raised strong, intelligent and hard-working children--who sometimes struggle with issues of not being good enough...but these are OUR challenges--not hers.  


She helped me realize that no matter who tells me I am this or that, none of it matters unless I believe them..Unless I give MY power away.  


I am not giving away my power.  I choose to continue growing and shining--holding my light in reverence.  


On this special day of thanking mothers everywhere, I thank MY mother and myself--for EVERYTHING--the struggles, the laughter, the tears and rejection.  ALL OF IT!  For without her and our life together, I would not be HERE in this life that I am creating.  I LOVE IT and am so grateful for the start she gave me.  


I recently took a writing class where we created poetry from words in our journal.  I have been experimenting with this more and more and have been enjoying the release it provides.  I write a lot about my mom and my kids and this wonderful, crazy life that has sprouted up in the middle of nowhere.  


This is my tribute to my mother--it is simple and just right for what I need at this moment in my life.  I wish you the perfect celebration for YOU--You deserve everything and anything you can dream!

You birthed me in hope and held me with wonder

When I was small and innocent

You talked to me about dreams

And lovingly planted beautiful possibilities

In small, fertile corners of my self

Places I would later uncover

like hidden treasure

I cherish this tarnished, forgotten gold

I unwrap these pieces of YOU

Every day

Unexpectedly finding your strength

Your belief in me—in everything I am and will be

I feel your love and savor the embrace

You send on the wind

I notice the energy of your hands

Guiding mine in the Earth

Together we plant again

Seeds of hope

And love eternal   


Namaste.